some girls dreams don't come true
by Winter Celchu
Summary: A Post NJO story about Jacen Solo.
1. Default Chapter

**Characters:** Jacen Solo, OC'S.

**Keywords:**AU.

**Summary:** Jacen Solo loses the one he refuses to love. Knowing that she loves him. Can he realise he loves her too and get her back?

**Notes:** I only own the characters of Nadzieja Iczkiewicz and Kathryn Parsons. And any other OC's that may appear. The rest belongs to George Lucas and the Authors.

**Notes 2**: This fic can be a oneshot or can be finished as a dhort story. Please tell me if you wish me to continue because i won't if no ones interested as im not completely satisfied with it.

This was written just so that i can begin finishing my other fics after a bad case of DWB. An evil plot bunny jumped in my dreams and i couldn't resist.

They were right; they were all right. If Jacen Solo didn't want her love, to kriff with him. Let him wallow in his guilt for the rest of his life. Heck, let him paint the word Martyr on his head and get it over with. She had a job to do, and she was going to do it. She had a year to get through and then she would finally go home.

It sounded so easy in her head. It was so very, very hard to do in real life.

She had made it through two whole days. There was only half an hour before she could go home, before she could stop worrying about ignoring the comments made by the staff. Could stop worrying that that she would run into Jacen somewhere and humiliate herself again. She was standing by the turbolift and helping a parent up to the paediatrics unit when she got stopped.

"Oh, gods no," came her heartfelt yet resigned reply.

It was the same nurse who had stopped her in the medwards messhall. Kathryn Parsons. Blocking the turbolifts doors, arms crossed around her lithe figure.

" Oh, yes," she came her reply, her tone firm and for whatever reason brooked no chance for an argument.

Yet, Nadzieja still shook her head, tried to push her aside.

"No," Nadia insisted. "Not again, Find somebody else, girlfriend. I am not welcome near that family."

The nurse simply looked at her and said, "his little girl is staying here."

This brought Nadia up short, shocked her enough so that she stopped trying to get past her colleague.

Nadia, after weeks of pain, finally held some hope within. Then she saw the look in Kathryn's eyes and knew that somehow this was not good news. Nadia was not used to seeing Kathryn Parsons scared. It scared her now.

Instead of allowing her fears to show in either her tone or expression Nadia assured her, "letting her stay is a good thing. "

"That's not the problem," Came the instant reply.

Nadzieja sighed, "How did I know you were going to say that." She tried unsuccessfully to quell the pain building in her chest. "All right," She said, " Then what is it?"

"It's Jacen Solo…" Kathryn managed. Wringing her hands nervously. As if trying to squeeze out the reality of an indescribable problem. " He had an appointment to talk to the medwards social worker and didn't come back. I'm really worried about him."

"Have you tried to find him?" Nadia asked

"I know where he is." The nurse replied.

"I was afraid you were going to tell me that too. What do you want from me?"

If anything Kathryn looked even more anxious and unsure of herself now. She couldn't seem to keep still, the movement only served to heighten Nadia's uneasiness.

"Somebody needs to talk to him." She insisted. I think something happened to him when he talked to those people. Something…"

"Something what? "Nadia knew her voice was harsh and unmoving. She didn't really care.

Her colleague, the nurse faced her. " I don't know. It's like he's reached the end of his sanity. He's… he's" Kathryn paused then tried again, " He's falling apart.

Jacen Solo who prided himself for being able to keep a Jedi's calmness about himself at all times an almost unmoveable calm. Falling apart?

Yet, she knew that if Kathryn was telling her this then it was the truth.

"Where is he," She asked, she knowing she had no choice. She was not proud of herself for she knew she was once again going to have to give all she had to him and expect nothing in return. Knew that she was right when she first thought that she would not get through the day.

"The last I heard, he was tearing apart a room on the 7th floor."

Kathryn knew what sort of reaction the younger woman would have to this comment.

Nadzieja jaw dropped in sheer disbelief. "Tearing apart?" She asked still not believing it.

"You heard me." Came the firm reply without a trace of amusement.

She didn't stop to think never once thought to say goodbye to Kathryn. She simply took off at a dead run. Opting to take the stairs to the 7th floor rather then the turbolift.

By the time she reached the 7th floor she didn't have to ask where he was. There was a small group of doctors, nurses and techs and residents gathered around a door. They each glanced somewhat anxiously at the door. Looking torn as if they wanted to do something but where afraid too. A moment later and she understood having heard the crash of something breaking against the door.

Trying to lighten the mood she quipped, "I thought they kept the breakables there so they wouldn't tempt the residents."

They all turned to her then. No matter how angry they had been, maybe still were about how Jacen had treated her, they didn't want this. Heck, nobody would want this.

"Come on kiddies, I'll herd him into the Bantha's den. You go and reassure the kids on the ward that it was nothing but a holovid left on too loud." She ordered softly.

They didn't move quickly, but they did move. When she was satisfied they had all moved away far enough. She tried to open the door.

To her astonishment it actually opened.


	2. chapter 2

**Some Girls Dreams Don't Come True. Some Girls Just Don't Deserve Them Too.**

**Post 2.**

_ITo her astonishment it actually opened./I_

She simply couldn't imagine letting herself walk away and chance that someone walk in on this rage. Especially if the person who was allowing someone walk in on him was Jacen Solo.

Not that she would have recognised him!

Dear Force, she thought, He's… he's…

But she couldn't even put words to it. It was as if all the pain she was feeling in her heart, he had succumbed to. As he had splintered into a million sharp pieces oh shrapnel and pain rained down upon the small confines of the room.

There was debris everywhere. Some idiot had left a pile of dirty dishes from the cafeteria up here, and Jace had thoroughly demolished them. He'd hurled a lamp at the wall and from the way it was broken she could tell that he hadn't use the force to throw it. Although, he had evidently let loose a force storm as several objects where strewn around the room, objects that would have not been possible to move physically. And now he stood in the middle of the room panting. With tears on his face.

Tears.

Nadia swore her heart stopped beating.

She couldn't take her eyes off him. His face was ravaged, Old and sallow, as if he'd aged twenty years over the last two days. She could hear the wind rasping in his lungs. Almost as if he had ran up the stairs hauling weights that he could not physically manage to hold. She could see his body tremble, as if the emotion in him was seeping out of every pore.

She didn't know what to say. Didn't know what to do.

So she locked the door behind her, and then she walked up to him. And as gently as if he was one of her patients, she wrapped herself around Jacen Solo and brought his head down to her shoulder.

He stiffened; he struggled; he fought her.

She simply held on.

"You don't… you don't even I know/I…" He rasped, his voice breaking her heart that much more. "… Why I'm…"

"I don't need to," she whispered, and edged them towards the corner in the room that held the bed. " Is Inara alright?"

"She's here. She's right here where you wanted. You should be happy. You should be satisfied. She's safe from me now." He answered accusingly, though at whom the accusations were aimed she did not know.

Nadia never let go of him. Even as she stripped of the shard covered blanket from the bed. She didn't say another word to him as she eased Jacen down on it, so his back was facing the wall. So she could hold him in her arms and soothe him.So that she could soothe herslef with the solid feel of him in her arms, here where she could help him.

She felt the hitch in his breath. The terrible struggle to maintain control when it just seemed too much to of a burden to bear. Her heart had started again. She knew because every breathe she forced through her lungs felt like a vibro balde had sliced thorugh them and a searing heat was all that was left.

She shouldn't be here. She should just leave him and let him face it alone. She simply couldn't survive when she helped him again and he walked away form her. Again.

She didn't leave.

"What happened," she asked, holding onto him more tightly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Some Girls Dreams Don't Come True. Some Girls Just Don't Deserve Them Too.  
Post 3.**

_**"What happened," she asked, holding onto him more tightly. **_

"What happened?" he echoed, trying to pull away. "What happened?Just what I thought would happen."  
"You let Inara stay?" barely believing she had said that aloud she receieved an answer.  
"I let her stay, and they came after me, They came after me and accused me accused me…"

Nadia pulled back just far enough to face him. "Tell me," she commanded.  
"You should know," he accused her, his eyes his eyes harsh and completely unforgiving. " You of all people should know what they accused me of in there."  
She held eye contact with him albeit rather painfully. "You mean that  
A percentage of girls with eating disorders have suffered sexual abuse."

"They asked me!" He spat. "They asked me, in that damn concerned voice they perfect so well, could I tell them anything to help? Did I have a healthy relationship with my little girl? Did my feelings towards her change after my wife died? They wanted me to tell them I'd hurt her! Abused her! They accused me of something that unspeakable and you knew they would!"

Emotions warring within her she barely heard her own reply, "They had to, Jacen. You know they had to. How could you ask them to overlook something that might help Inara heal."  
"Not that!" Jacen spat at her again, "Not that I'd hurt my little girl!"

"I'm sorry, Jace. I didn't think it would bother you, because I knew you'd never hurt her. So telling you seemed a moot point." She said with little real apology in her voice. Nadia loved this man and would not apologise for believing in him.

"You knew!" He echoed, his voice so tight it's shrillness scared her. She could not see how he was holding onto his sanity. She could not see why this had upset him so.  
"Are you sure you knew?" He demanded of her whilst shaking her hard. "Are you absolutely sure? Are you sure you didn't want them to admit that I'd hurt her? That I'd hurt Inara? Hurt my Danni's baby? You didn't want that?

It was her turn for shock now." Of course not Jacen! It was all in the information chip I gave you. I thought you'd read it and understood it. I told you. I could never believe you would do anything to hurt Inara."

He laughed then. It was not a humourous laugh but was so filled with bitter self loathing and pain that tears gathered in her eyes. Tears which she would not let fall. Could not let fall. Then he shoved her backwards so that she fell off the bed.  
"Well, isn't that the best joke of all," he said with another terrible, harsh laugh." You know why?"  
"No." She managed, holding very still, suddenly so very afraid.  
"Because for all of your blind faith, young doctor," he snarled, crouched down over her, "you were wrong."  
"I don't believe you, Jace."

Nadia thought she had never seen such anguish on a human's face.  
"You thought everything would be fine once she got treatment here. You thought they would just pat her on the head point her to a gym and everything would be okay. You didn't think they cause any more hurt to us. Didn't you?"  
He was shouting now, curled so tightly around her that she was frightened. Her heart was stumbling around inside her like something wild, she couldn't seem to breathe. She didn't know what to do. How to answer him.  
"Jacen, they just want to talk…."  
"They want to know … Everything! Well, I'll give you everything, Nadia. I'll give it to you since you poked and prodded and pushed us to this point." And then, his face so close, the poison spilling out of him in a torrent, he did just that. "I did hurt Inara, Nadia. I hurt her in a way I can never forgive. I hurt her so badly that it'll take the rest of my life to make up for it."  
"Jacen, You didn't—"  
"I did! I know it, they know it, and now you know it. Remember that drunk driver who killed Inara's mother? That unforgiveable piece of sithspawn who was so selfish and so callous and remorseless that he left my Danni bleeding to death by the side of the road?"

"Yes," Nadia answered, choking on the word. Terrified of the manic light in Jacen's eyes.  
Jacen straightened. Swept his arms out wide, an exhibit of himself. Laughed. "Well, meet that son of a sith, Nadia. I was the drunk driver that killed my wife."  
Then he bent to her again, and Nadia cowed before his grief. " And now I get to tell my little girl."


	4. Chapter 4

**Some Girls Dreams Don't Come True. Some Girls Just Don't Deserve Them Too.  
Post 4. **

_Well, meet that son of a sith, Nadia. I was the drunk driver that killed my wife."  
Then he bent to her again, and Nadia cowed before his grief. " And now I get to tell my little girl." _  


Nadia froze. Literally. Stunned, silent, shivering. Crouched against the wall in the smallest ball she could manage.  
She tried to speak. She couldn't. She tried to breathe and didn't do much better. She simply couldn't push the air she needed past the grief that had lodged in her chest. Pat the lump in her throat. She tried to close her eyes and couldn't. She felt as if she was simply imploding, and she didn't know what to do about it. She didn't know what to do about Jacen.  
She didn't know what to do for Jacen.

He just stood there, tears coursing down his cheeks and soaking his shirt, fists clenched, face ragged, back bowed. She could hear the rasp of his breathing. She could see the unbearable strain on him, Could almost taste the self-loathing on him.  
Oh force, she thought over and over again. Oh, force.

And then, before she realised what she was doing, she was on her feet. She was reaching out to him, because she couldn't survive his pain when it kept her apart from him.  
"Oh, Jacen," she whispered. "Oh, Jace, I'm so sorry.  
He pushed at her again. He straightened. Then he glared.  
" No!" He demanded, the breathe catching somewhere on the way to his throat."No! Don't you dare comfort me! Don't you dare? Don't you understand? I murdered my wife, damn it! Don't you dare try and tell me that it doesn't matter!"

"Of course it matters," She retorted, toe to toe with him. "It obviously matters so much that you've completely changed your life to atone for it."

"Atone!" he demanded, leaning in again, fierce furious and so very fragile. "You think I can atone for something like that? You think I can ever make up for what I did to her?"  
He gasped, as if he simply didn't have the strength for what he had to say. He said it anyway, his eyes as black as a void, his hands shaking where they fisted at his side.  
"She tried to get my keys. Even had them once, just until I took them back again. I was the one in charge. I had to be in control of the speeder."

Nadia could do little more then shake her head. "I'm sorry."  
"Yeah," he said, the anathema thick on his tongue. "So am I. I used it have a family. Now I only have a wife who exists in a holovid on my wall and a little girl who's paying for my sins by starving herself to death. And I have a mission. "

"A mission?" Nadia asked confusion evident in her voice.


	5. Cahpter 5

**Post 5.**

_**"A mission?" Nadia asked confusion evident in her voice.** _

He glared at her; Nadia just wanted to touch him, to ease the anguish upon the face that had become so dear to her. Yet, just as before he ignored her feelings, "Just what do you promise your wife as she lies dying in your arms, young doctor? Just what do you say that will right all your wrongs?"

Nadia couldn't help it any longer. She had to reach out and touch him. Only her hand, which cupped his cheek. His cheek that was wet but oddly warm, when his eyes were so cold. His eyes deadly, deeply cold, two black voids in a galaxy going nova. And the tears he shed still fell; though he did not realise it.

"Did Danni really ask you to give away your life to pay for your mistake?" Nadzieja asked. " Did this woman whom claims your heart ask you to give your life for taking hers?" Her tone now seemed brutal even to her but didn't seem to faze him. Her emotions did not reach him his own pain so big.

"She didn't have to. There is no way I could ever make it up to her now, is there? I can only do what I think is right." Jacen answered bitterly after a few minutes of silence.

" The same way Inara is doing what she thinks is right?" Nadia asked of him. Determined to help him through though it was costing her everything she had left.

He backed away again, his lips curled in disdain." Don't you dare play amateur psychologist with me Nadzieja Iczkiewicz. Don't you dare!" Jacen threw the words at her. " Better people then you have tried and failed."

Inside she was crying out, mirroring his emotions. Outside she took a deep breath and continued, "Why don't you tell me?" She said as simply as she could. " Just sit down and tell me? Tone gentling with each word.

He stepped towards her maliciously. " Why the hell should I." He spat.

She motioned around the small med supply room. " Physical exertion doesn't seems to have helped." She said logically.

His smile turned mocking then. " I've got a whole house I haven't even started on yet."

She wanted to run away. Wished she hadn't let Kathryn manipulate her into doing this. " You have someone here to talk to. You've never had that luxury before. Why not try it. We've all heard the phrase, 'Burdens are easier carried with two shoulders." It's an old cliché so there has to be some truth to it.'"

He sneered at her and attacked again. " Because you _love_ me?"

**I'm sorry this was so short. It was necessary for the story to stand alone though. I hope you enjoyed it. Or at least understood it. It was hard to write.**


	6. Chapter 6

_Hey Y'all I'm Back Yet again. And i advise tissues and a drink with this one. It's long and intense._

I'll send out pm's in a minute. 

The length of this was partly necessary and partly at guilt from neglecting it. So there you go. I hope you enjoy.

**Post 6. **

**_  
He sneered at her and attacked again. "Because you love me?" _**

Flashback.

Kathryn Parsons was a rational person by nature. She had yet to find a good enough reason to unleash her wrath on any of the other staff, patients or parents at the medwards. For someone who had worked there for three years that was a considerable achievement.

That was until now. She was close enough to reaching her breaking point that she was seeking out the already hurting doctor. The only real hope she felt in righting this ridiculous situation.  
She had spent the last 20 minutes trying to track down Nadia. 20 minutes she didn't have. Yet this was too important not to be followed up.

It was the ward nurse in charge who told Nadia what was going on. She had been sitting at the mess hall table trying to interest her in eating her lunch when the nurse had calmly slid in across from her and simply stared.

Nadzieja wasn't really that surprised she had figured that the senior nurse was here to settle the bet. After all, everyone knew how hard she had been trying to get Jacen to talk to her. She'd been trying so hard that it seemed the staffs were starting betting pools to maximize the entertainment she had been providing daily.

She'd checked a couple of times on Inara, only to find her young friend asleep, and she'd tried to wait for Jacen knowing Inara would need him to be there when the implications of her illness were explained to her. The only thing she had managed to give herself was a loss of appetite, incessant headache and growing reputation.

Stilling her thoughts she turned to Kathryn. "You looking for lunch? I wouldn't recommend you get anything here. It tastes like medical fare." Trying to inject humour into her voice.

"I want you to do something." Came the nurse's reply.

"Me? What? And why?"

Kathryn, a sharp, storm trooper kind of pseudo aunt to all the kids admitted, huffed at her as if she was the stupidest person on planet. "Master Solo is transferring his little girl to a treatment facility for eating disorders."

Nadia brightened at that. "Wonderful," she started to say only for Kathryn to cut in informing her, "On Dantooine."

Nadzieja was suddenly on her feet without quite knowing how she got there. "What?" she spluttered. Temper rising despite her promise to remain unemotional in this.  
Kathryn didn't move once. She simply told her, "It's a galaxy wide leader in the treatment of disorders like the one Inara has."

"Well that's fine then." Nadzieja said calming down. "As long as he's going with her."

Kathryn smiled at her a little bitterly and with pity too. "It's not that kind of place." She told the younger woman grimly.  
Nadia didn't bother to hear anymore she went straight into battle mode. Scowl fierce she sped past the nurse who gazed at her grimly.  
_Good Luck _Kathryn thought. i For that little girls sake I hope you het through to him.

It shouldn't have surprise her that she couldn't find Jacen anywhere. The damn coward was probably avoiding her, throwing another tantrum because somebody tried to help him. Well' let him be a petulant child if he wanted. His family should be here soon. They said they would get here when they could get leave. But she would not let him compromise his daughter's well being by being impetuous and frankly idiotic.

When she couldn't find him anywhere she braved the bantha's den, surprisingly only Inara was there.  
Nadia found her sitting in her oversize bed in a private room overflowing with flowers, stuffed toys and many, many ewoks. Her hair was lank and her eyes red rimmed and anxious. Her heart went out to this poor little darling so like her at that age. The difference being this one was stuck with a father who shouldn't need any help.

The idiot. Gathering her courage she entered the room she had wanted to go into for at least 6 days now. Taking a deep breathe she settled herself next to Inara's bed.

"It's scary isn't it sweet pea?" She asked very gently.  
Inara barely looked at her.   
Nadia maintained a careful distance however was unable to resist taking the young girls restless hand in her own. Offering a small measure of comfort to the tormented child. "I mean the fact that everybody knows. It was your secret. It was something you had power over, and now they want to take that away."

This time the child looked at her startled. She simply looked at the girl steadily and continued. "And they are going to take it away, Inara." Nadia said, neither moving closer nor away from the girl; letting Inara make the decision. "You know that, don't you honey?"

Tears welled up in the sweet green eyes that must have been Danni's yet still reminded her of Jacen in a most primitive way. Nadia was sure her breathing had once again stopped.

"I messed up everything," Inara whispered, tears tracking down her cheeks. Not being able to bear it any longer Nadia gathered the little girl in her arms cradling her to the safety of her chest; where she hoped the girl would find comfort and respite during her ordeal.  
"You have messed up nothing child," she told the broken child in her arms. "You just tried to take on jobs that weren't yours to take. Shouldn't have been yours to take."

"What do you mean?" Came the muffled reply from her shirt.  
Nadia thought for a moment and answered with absolute honesty. "It's not your job to make your daddy feel better; he's a big boy who needs to figure that out for him."  
It was good advice for herself, too, Nadai thought with a wry smile at her own pain.

"Your job is to be 13," She said, heart full of the girl lying in her arms. Oh, how she wished she belonged there.

"That's what my daddy's been telling me."  
"He's right," she agreed softly.  
"He also said that you… that when you…"

Nadzieja backed away, wiping the tears from the girls face. "That I stopped eating when I was your age too. Yeah, I did. My mother was dead and suddenly I could not remember what she looked like. I didn't think I was helping my brother Jake enough, because he was always exhausted and sad. I didn't know how to make him feel better. Couldn't make any of it right though it became my job to. Yes, Inara, I quit eating. Just like you sugar."

Those eyes stared back at her, so anxious, pain filled, and expressive pools of grief, fear and insecurity. "I don't…. I…"

Nadzieja simply waited, but Inara couldn't manage more, so she nodded to her continuing. "It's so hard," she said musingly. "Being told you have to give up the one thing you're sure you've got a hold of; gotten control of."

She heard Ingra gasp. Those despair filled eyes got even wider upon hearing this.

"If you want, I've got some things I wrote back then that might seem familiar. I'm nowhere near as good as Steph. But it might be good for you to see you're not the only one to have feelings like you're having." 

Inara, nodded at her, trying to smile, almost managing to.   
"The good news sweetie," Nadia forged on heart breaking that much more. "You have something to hold on to too. Your music is a powerful thing isn't it?"

For a moment Inara looked down ashamed. Nadia would not let her feel ashamed, never again. "Do you think Steph's talented?" She asked the younger girl.

Shoulders straightening in a defensive posture she gazed at her fiercely and answered. "She's a genius. Don't you know that?" Passion infusing her voice for the first time in what felt like an eternity. Nadzieja's heart lifted a bit seeing hope for the girl stemming from friendship.

"Well that genius thinks you are a miracle child. I am a doctor because I could never be a musician. You are a musician who could never be a doctor. I couldn't be happy with you as a doctor Inara. I need your music in my life. Making it better when I can't do it for myself. Your daddy wants what's best for you; you just need to be brave enough to tell him what that is." 

Tears rose in woman and girls eyes as the girl exclaimed, "I hurt him soo much," In a voice so full of pain it physically hurt to be listened too.

"No Honey, He hurts because he loves you, and when we love somebody we can't stand to see them in pain. But you'll both start to hurt less when you share what's wrong. 

She hoped that was true; sent up a mental prayer.  
No. Jacen Solo might be stubborn and stuck in a time warp of guilt but there was no question that he would give his life gladly just to see the light shining in his beloved daughter's eyes.

There was another pause. Another choked breathe. "I'm not sure…."

"It will take a while for you to believe it. I know. But you will discover the joy again and you'll move past this place."

The young girl, young woman really finally smiled at her. Nadia's heart broke again as she was finally getting through even just a little bit.

"So what's the bad news Doc Itchy?" The young girl quipped.  
Nadia smiled never attempted a rebuke at the impromptu nickname she had just been given. "I told your Dad, and I'll tell you. These things just don't go away because we may want them too. They come back when we're stressed or hurt. I'm stressed now and I've found myself running more and eyeing the rabbit food again." 

"Still?" The girl beseeched

"Still." She answered. "Good news is I recognise it now, before it gets bad and I talk to somebody. And so will you, the hardest part of all this is asking for help. Just ask me and your daddy."

"Ask me what?"  
Nadzieja looked up to see Jacen in the doorway sans the cool exterior legendary to this Jedi. He looked furious in a controlled way. He looked frightened too, as if Nadia would steal Inara from him whilst his back was turned. He was a picture of desolate and utter loneliness.

He needed to ask for help she knew and that made her instantly furious. He needed to share. Then she almost laughed. The way she had shared with Steph and Abby. The way she had let everyone help her through her life. They were a pair. Sarcastically was expressed.

"The hardest thing for us to do is to ask for help," She reiterated for his benefit. "It's the most important too."

"I didn't ask you to…" He jumped in

Inara reacted to the unspoken tension between the two and asked for her hair to be washed by the kindly nurse that had come in, Kathryn she had thought she was called.

"I thought I told you I'd deal with this Nadia." He threw at her harshly. 

"Inara is my friend and I will help her as such. When I am finished with her I would like a word Jedi Solo." She retorted. 

2o minutes later she found him outside the door to Inara's room stalking over to him, she asked, "do you want to go somewhere private to talk?"  
Frustrated beyond belief at his answer, no as he didn't have time for her, almost made her scream.

"Fine." She said." Please tell me you're not sending her away for treatment?"

He stiffened at her shot but shrugged," you saw her downstairs we need to catch this right now before it gets any worse."

"I didn't say we shouldn't treat her," Nadia replied evenly." I just said you shouldn't send her away." 

"It's the finest facility in the galaxy." He justified. 

Nadia almost spat her reply. "Her mother is dead and her father is throwing her away that's going to make the girl feel so much better."  
She wished the words back as soon as she said them. The now sheet white man in front of her, eyes deadly hissed at her," You're treading on thin ice Doctor!"

Knowing the staff down the hall was listening to the confrontation intently she wanted to be mindful of what she said, but dammit it was him who wanted it here.

He had probably thought that it would keep her mouth shut. Importance overrode appearances. As she fired back at him, "So go and complain. Get me tossed of the staff here. But look me in the eyes and tell me that you have told her you're sending her away."

"She's not ready." He replied emphatically.  
Nadia nearly laughed. "When will that happen?" She demanded. "Before or after you walk away from her at the landing strip. You know damn well that it's not best for her or you'd have told her already."

He stood rigidly but his eyes were cold fire. Deadly to look upon as he answered coldly." I told you how much I appreciated your help already. Now leave this to me and my family."

She was still trying so hard regardless of her own pain that she pleaded," Jace, you can't do this to her, not when she's so fragile. Please!"  
"I've weighted the options" He replied again.

"Did you read the information I gave you? Speak to the specialist?"

"The unit here isn't experienced enough to deal with this. I will not lose my daughter through incompetence."

Several gasps were heard from the staff. Incensed further Nadzieja started insisting, all but tearing into him. "Right now Inara needs you. If you send her away she'll feel she failed again. She'll never stand a chance!"

He looked at her dispassionately and replied frostily." I've made my decision. Now, I suggest you stop interfering where you are not wanted and go back to your own patients."

He was turning away from her again. And she couldn't let him, not for Inara or Her. She knew, better then anyone, what exiling the little girl would do to her.

"Listen to me." Voice raised

He whipped back towards her and said, "I will not lose the one thing I have left."

Later, she knew she would think of his words, die a little from them Hurt like she'd never known. But right now she ignored the feelings. "Then don't send her away!"

"Why should I listen to you?" He demanded hardly "What makes you so special?"

She could hear the absolute silence that followed these questions. Knew everyone was still listening. Still rooting for an unknown side. Hopefully hers.

"Could we please talk somewhere else?" She said to disguise her feelings

"No!" He answered her cruelly. "I need t get back to what is actually important.  
"I can't!" She replied.

"You can't he dsaid derisively. "You can't tell me why I should listen to you? Sarcasm evident in posture and tone.

"You know why you should listen to me." She answered quietly, pleadingly.  
"Because you know what she's been through?" He said mockingly.

"Because I love you!" 

The shock that came off all parties was immediately evident. To everyone in the corridor. She hadn't meant to say it, to think it even. Not in front of an enraptured audience. Not while he had so much to deal with already.

She stilled then, perfectly still, only her heart thundering in her chest made any movement. And then she began to crumble the man who had compelled her to love him, pulled away from her. He stepped back and straightened even more.   
"Well, don't!" He said snidely, perfectly serious.  
And then he walked away.

End Flashback


	7. Chapter 7

Nadia wished the world would swallow her whole as she watched the man she loved walk away. She could not and would not fall apart in front of the audience they had garnered nor would this be the end of the situation. At this point she did not care that he was the man she loved or even that she herself could not recognize either Jacen or herself in the people who had been standing in that memory. She did know that she was the medic in charge of his daughter's care and as such she would not allow him to send Inara away. In that she did have a say in his life.

He did not recognize that she alone was helping him through this and if he did not wish for her help she would arrange for him to get it elsewhere. To aid in that she called her best friend Abby who was currently seeing Kyle Darklighter, who put her through to Jaina Solo. It was to be a difficult conversation that had both women in tears but she had secured his sister's support. In fact it was his father Han Solo himself that showed up on her doorstep three days later demanding to know what had actually happened. She did not introduce herself as anything other than Inara's doctor but clearly showed concern for both Inara's and Jacen's welfare. She explained the situation to him as she saw it and implored him to try to make Jacen see reason where Inara was concerned.

When he left she once again saw herself going for that extended run she really didn't need but could not control. She could recognize the mess Jacen was making of her life but was at a loss as to what to do about it. She wanted to blame him for it but couldn't seem to through the haze of sympathy she felt towards the man who currently occupied her every dream. No matter a little more pain in her life would not end her resolve, not even the anticipation of the confrontation that was sure to come when Jacen saw the extent to which she had insinuated herself fin his life.


End file.
